apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
