how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize