I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
