Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
