i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
