I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
