i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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