My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we made out on top of his cat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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