sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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