there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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