Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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