these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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