i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
