As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
