Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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