i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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