you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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