hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
