Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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