similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
