oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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