Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Someone came in the potted fern
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
