I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
