I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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