There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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