i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize