The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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