so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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