i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
