ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I will be naked everywhere
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
