Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
