You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My feet surprised me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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