if you like me you must not know who I am
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
where does the pee come out of this thing
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
