Having a random hookup so left but love u
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
