that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
