I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
