you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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