I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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