Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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