please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
