if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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