moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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