omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
be right there i have to get my cape
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
