Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
