My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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