Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
