I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
