Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
