You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
