I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
