don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
