My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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