don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
