Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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