is wine microwaveable?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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