There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We were destined to go to rehab together
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
