I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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