Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize