Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
