During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize