the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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