Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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