Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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