This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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