i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
