my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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