He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
