How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
