Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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